Grapes of Wrath

As everyone knows, Anastasia and I are not coffee drinkers. We don't even own a coffee maker anymore since we moved east. Though we do not drink coffee, we still find our own ways to jump start our day. For example, this morning Luke decided to wake up at 5:45, an hour earlier than normal. Despite our attempts, we couldn't get him back to sleep, so I took him downstairs at 6:45 (a futile hour of our lives that we won't get back). After getting some apple sauce and juice for Luke's breakfast, I was checking my email when a horrific odor entered my nasal cavity. It smelled like sewer. So I took Luke upstairs and changed his diaper. My point to all this is that Luke's diarrhetic diaper (with grape chunks in it, too) was like my morning coffee. Up until that point, I was still in a zombie-esque trance. However, once his jammies came off and the full impact of his broken sewer line hit me, I was completely awake, to the point that I thought I was going to repose right then and there. It was worse than week-old gym socks in a grocery sack. whew. So for those of you who are trying to kick a bad coffee habit, or just save money while trying to jump-start your day, my suggestion to you is to get a kid and just go nuts changing diapers.

Ok, so maybe my stories aren't as edifying as Aesop's, but at least most people can sympathize.

Anyhoo, Luke is trying to get over a cold which means that he is still not sleeping well. He sleeps best on Anastasia's arm, and of course she sleeps best without a 25 pound toddler kicking her all night. Needless to say, neither of them are getting enough sleep right now. Although I'm very happy to disclose that I have now had Luke for 2 hours without bothering Stasia more than once (I stole the pillow she was using so that Luke could safely swandive off his bed onto the floor).

Speaking of Luke diving off his bed, it is one of his favorite pasttimes, morning, noon, or night. We throw all the pillows down to give him a soft landing spot, and then he tumbles head first off the bed into the (somewhat soft) landing pad. This is all good and well, except when he wants us to jump off the bed with him. Well the ceiling is only about 7.5 feet, so when I get on the bed I run the risk of hitting my head. Stasia, of course, runs no such risk, but she is prego so doesn't exactly balance well on a bed. Anyhoo, Luke has normally wanted us to jump off the bed with him, so we have to the best of our abilities (no swandives for anyone over 3 feet tall). Lately, though, Luke has not wanted us to jump but has preferred that his stuffed doggie jump off the bed. This is much easier on all of us, as the dog can do as many tricks as Greg Louganis, minus the homosexuality, HIV, and concussion on the diving board. Luke's dog is kind of like a miniature, stuffed version of Air Bud, except he doesn't score touchdowns or play volleyball or cricket or whatever-the-heck-kind-of-movies-they-made-with-that-dumb-series; no, Luke's dog (Woofer is his name), simply leaps off a bed into a pile of pillows. But hey, it keeps the kid happy.

Luke has also wanted to go to bed with Woofer next to him now. It's pretty funny, because he thinks taht the dog needs to be under the blankets. Very cute.

Another cute thing Luke has done is take an old cell phone charger out of a drawer and swing it around the house like a censer. Of course, no censing would be complete without green, blue, and yellow sunglasses (see the "Dude" post for pictures). Maybe Dn. John should try wearing some aviator glasses--upside down of course--next time he does a censing at St. John's. I would pay to see that.

As I type, Luke is doing belly flops on the floor, sometimes on a pillow and sometimes not. Hilarious.

One more thing that Luke is doing is identifying people in pictures. Looking at one of our picture frames from 2007, I asked showed Luke a picture of Aunt Mary and asked, "Who's that?" He replied, "marmar." Wonderful. Then I showed him a picture of his Uncle Jonathan and asked if he could say "Uncle Jon". He said, "J." Good enough. Then I pointed to his Uncle Robert (Rauscher, Shelly's husband) and simply asked, "Who's that?" "Bob" was his response. GOOD BOY! (By the way, Robert doesn't like being called Bob, but will only allow Luke to do it because "Robert" is too difficult to say right now). Also impressive is how Luke can pick out "Papa" and "Deacon John/Uncle Josh" in our Geico softball photo from last summer. His other favorite activity is sticking magnets over the faces of Megan and Marina Rogers on the refrigerator. Uhh, sorry. At least he can positively identify them.

Finally, I feel the need to say a word about Baby Howell #2. Stasia had a sonogram on Monday and got some good pictures of the baby. Baby Huey is 5lbs, 8oz already (Stasia is 36 weeks along), and apparently looks like a chipmunk. One picture of the face shows very chubby cheeks and what appears to be a buck tooth. Yup, our kid might come out with a redneck tooth. (by the way, you know that a redneck invented the toothbrush because any normal person would've called it a "teeth brush"). I told Anastasia that if the baby does have a buck tooth, then we absolutely MUST name it Dale, in honor of the great Neck-Car drivers. Either Dale or Jed.

I'm enjoying my break from school right now. I'm actually reading a book for fun. Yup. Fun reading. I didn't think it would happen until summer.

I'm going to enjoy another day with my son. Oh, and my wife too.

--Matthew

PS: Don't forget that tax season is upon us. As Mike Habib quipped, it's good to "do your taxes then go to confession."
PPS: I'll leave you with some new pics of Luke.




We appreciate when Luke blesses the house, censing it with his cell phone charger while wearing sunglasses. Most of the time, his glasses are upside down.

Luke loves his oranges, except he just sucks the juice out of them instead of actually eating them.

Luke is at a weird phase in which he cuddles in odd ways. I also use him to work out my legs.

It's much more difficult to do pushups with an extra 25 pounds on your back. It is easier, though, than having Luke crawl under my arms while doing pushups.

Luke received a package from Gramma Sally in Sacramento. It included an In-N-Out Burger employee hat from his Uncle Jonathan (manager of a store near Arco Arena--ask him his opinion of Jason Thompson and Spencer Hawes; it's fascinating).
Luke really likes his In-N-Out hat (and it keeps his hair in good order while he helps mama cook). He had the hat for 5 days before putting a hole in it today.
Wearing the hat took me back to the 14 months I spent at In-N-Out Burger. Good times. Great food.


Luke likes his glass so much that he even reads them while reading. My wife was kind enough to take a picture of us reading this morning after she arose from her slumber. Obvioiusly, I haven't combed my hair yet.